Control
by jareaujareau
Summary: She can't believe she's in love with Ian Doyle. (Possible one shot?)


He was an IRA-captain, a terrorist. He was a serial killer. He was an international arms dealer who was wanted by a great number of agencies across the world. But somehow, she still found herself to be in love with him.

Whether it was the Irish accent or those piercing blue eyes, she didn't quite know. What she did know was that she could push aside the thoughts of who he truly was and what he had done. She could push aside the thoughts that haunted her at night, knowing that he wasn't the amazing man that she had tried to convince herself he was. Of course, she wasn't that great of a woman either. She had participated in and set up several deals for him, and had been on his arm on several different occasions where he had certain tasks to complete.

And although she tried to push it out of her mind, she was only there on duty. She was only there to get dirt on him and to get him put away. And when she thought about it, that was worse than anything that Ian had ever done.

There were times when he would be gone for weeks at a time, and she would have minimal contact with him. There were times when he would leave at unbearably early hours of the morning and not return until nearly 24 hours later, when the house was completely silent and she and the child that Emily had grown to love as her own were in bed. Of course these things bothered her occasionally, but she tried not to let them. When she let them bother her, she knew that she was in too deep. Ian hadn't wanted her to go with him recently, as the job that he was currently working on was too dangerous, and he didn't want Lauren to be around that. So she had been staying at home recently, simply doing things to pass time as she waited for Ian to return.

"Declan." Emily whispered as she entered the young boy's room, glancing at the tiny body spread out across the twin sized bed. The little boy with bright blonde curls stirred slightly, but didn't quite wake up. "Dec." She repeated a little louder, and this time the three-year old slowly looked up at her to reveal a pair of bright blue eyes.

Declan yawned, sitting up as he held his arms up and reached for the woman. "Lauren." He said quietly, his soft voice making the brunette smile as she walked over toward him and pulled the IRA captain's son into her arms. "Is daddy still gone?"

Emily nodded as she kissed his head, walking down the stairs to the kitchen with him in her arms. "Can we call him?" He questioned, looking up at her with begging eyes.

"Let's just wait for him to call us, okay sweetheart?" She suggested as she set Declan down on his feet. The housekeeper and Declan's nanny, Louise had already started breakfast for Emily and for Declan. "Good morning, Louise."

The dark haired woman turned slightly to smile at Emily. "Good morning, Lauren." She turned to the curly haired blonde boy on the ground and couldn't help but smile as she saw his bright face. "Good morning to you, Mr. Declan."

"Mornin' Louise!" Declan exclaimed, his accent becoming more evident as his voice became louder. Emily watched him and couldn't help but laugh as she thought about how much the little boy reminded her of his father. The two began to discuss breakfast and dinosaurs as Emily poured herself a glass of orange juice and sat down at the island. She glanced down at her cell phone, frowning slightly when she noticed that she didn't have any messages from Ian. 'Maybe he's still asleep' she thought as she set the phone down and took a drink of the orange liquid, staring off into space as she fell into her own little world.

She wasn't sure quite how long she had been staring at the wall, but she was quickly brought out of her trance when she felt a pair of hands squeeze at her waist. She jumped, nearly panicking and falling out of her chair.

Ian chuckled as she wrapped his arms around her shoulders, taking in her scent as he nuzzled his nose in her soft brown locks. "Calm down, love. It's just me."

Emily turned around quickly, lightly smacking the older man's chest. "Ian! You scared the hell out of me." The Irish man simply continued to laugh as he placed a soft kiss on her neck. As soon as Declan heard the noise, he got up from where he was playing with a few pots and pans on the ground and ran to his father.

"Daddy!" The boy yelled, his curls bouncing as he crashed into his father's legs. Emily simply smiled as Ian leaned down and kissed the top of the boy's head. Declan held onto Ian's legs as tight as he could, as if he never wanted to let go again.

Ian said hello to his son before ushering him to go play while he waited for his breakfast. He sat down in the chair next to the brunette and ran his hand through her soft hair. "I missed you." He whispered as he leaned in to give her a proper kiss. It didn't take very long before the kiss was deepened and their tongues were exploring each other's mouths, but they knew that they couldn't take it any further than that at the moment. Once they both pulled away to take a breath, they stared at one another for a good minute. Emily always liked to take a good look at him when he came home from long trips, as if to convince herself that he was truly here and that nothing bad had happened to him while he was gone.

"I missed you too." The younger woman whispered as she remained close to him, not wanting to stray very far away from him. Ian had been gone a little over a week, and having to sleep alone every night and walk around the house without him every day had truly taken a toll on her. She wasn't quite sure what it was about him, but she was completely addicted to him. Any time that she had to spend without him was painful and agonizing. And that was completely and utterly bad, considering that this wasn't supposed to be real, that she wasn't supposed to have real feelings for him.

It was the same for him. One of the things that he truly hated about being away for extended periods of time was not being with her. And because of the dangerous job that they were currently working on, he had to be away from her even more. That killed him.

"I'm going to go take a shower, love." Ian stood up and pecked Emily's cheek before finding his way upstairs. Emily ate breakfast with Declan before leaving him to play with his toys in his play room. She went upstairs to find Ian, who she suspected would be climbing into bed, prepared to catch up on all of the sleep that he had missed out on over the last week.

"Ian?" Emily called as she peeked into the bedroom, seeing Ian with his back to her as he looked in the dresser for something to wear.

"Yes, love?" He responded, turning around to face her with only a white towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was still wet and there was water dripping down his chest, something that Emily had to take her eyes away from in order to keep herself from jumping his bones right then and there.

Emily walked into the room, closing the door behind her. "Can I sit in here for a few?"

"Of course." Ian told her, walking toward her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something." He buried his face in her hair, planting soft kisses on her neck. When he knew that she was waiting for him to start the conversation, he spoke. "I know you haven't gone with me in a while, but I wanted to know if you wanted to go do a small job with me tomorrow."


End file.
